A Psychologist Weighs In On The Post-Breakup ‘No-Contact’ Rule (2024)

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A Psychologist Weighs In On The Post-Breakup ‘No-Contact’ Rule (2024)

FAQs

A Psychologist Weighs In On The Post-Breakup ‘No-Contact’ Rule? ›

While not every breakup necessitates implementing this rule, it becomes crucial, especially in toxic relationships where boundaries have been compromised. To truly heal, creating a space for self-reflection, emotional independence and rebuilding one's sense of self is essential.

What is the no contact rule after a break up? ›

As the phrase implies, the “no contact” rule entail cutting off all communications with your ex following a breakup. This includes not engaging in phone calls, texting, direct messages and “likes” on social media, and in-person meetups. Some even argue that looking at their social media posts is considered off limits.

Do therapists recommend no contact? ›

Psychology Take #2: Dr.

Instead, she suggests that you shouldn't contact your ex until you've lost all feelings for them, which typically spans around three to six months. She cites a research paper titled “Addition Through Subtraction: Growth Following the Dissolution of a Low-Quality Relationship.”

What do psychologists say about breakups? ›

Being broken up with can lead to feelings of hurt and rejection. Even if the breakup is mutual, it's still natural to struggle with difficult feelings, like anger or depression, at least for a while.

Who usually breaks no contact first? ›

Let your ex be the first one to break the no contact rule, especially if you're following it to try and get them back. It's easy to fall into a pattern of worrying about what other people think, but if reaching out to your ex and breaking the no contact rule is what's best for you, do it.

What is he thinking after 3 weeks of no contact? ›

After weeks of no word, he might begin to panic about losing you. He's been hoping and hoping you'll talk to him, but now he's realizing he'll be a permanent ex if he doesn't do something. He'll reflect deeply and, if he wants you back, make a plan to win you over.

How long does it take an ex to reach out after no contact? ›

1 For an amicable breakup: around 30 days. 2 For a long-term relationship: at least 60 days. 3 If things got ugly at the end: roughly 90 days. 4 For an especially toxic separation: indefinitely.

What do psychologists say about no contact rule? ›

The effectiveness of the no-contact rule lies in its purpose, which cannot be “to see who breaks first.” Consider it a period for personal growth, healing and gaining clarity. Ensure that your decision to go “no-contact” is driven by a genuine need for self-discovery and emotional well-being.

Who should reach out first after a breakup? ›

Wait 4-6 weeks after the breakup for your ex to text you first. If you're nervous or unsure about whether your ex-girlfriend wants to hear from you, you could wait for her to text you.

How to go no contact with someone you love in psychology? ›

Not engaging in any emotions regarding the other person.

You do this by noticing what's going on; talking to yourself internally, reminding yourself that you are not going to invest emotional energy in to this relationship any more. Walk away – both actually and figuratively.

Can a therapist help after a breakup? ›

Whether you're considering individual therapy, couples therapy, family therapy, or marriage counseling, therapy can provide a safe place to explore your pain from the breakup while learning how to effectively cope with difficult emotions, build your resilience, and embrace your independence.

Who suffers more after a breakup? ›

When it comes to men vs women after a breakup, the stereotype is that women take relationships more seriously or are likely to be more heartbroken after a breakup. However, studies show otherwise. A study has found that men are likely to be more heartbroken over the end of a relationship than women.

What is the power of silence after a break up? ›

In this context, silence refers to refraining from any form of communication or contact with an ex-partner. While it may seem counterintuitive at first, embracing silence can profoundly impact your healing journey. Silence gives you the space and time you need to process your emotions and move on with your life.

How long should no contact last if you want to get back together? ›

Plan how long you want the no contact period to last.

4 weeks is generally considered to be enough time for your ex to change their mind about the breakup if they're going to do it. That being said, follow it for as long or short as you feel is right. Whether you want to set an exact date to end on is up to you.

Do exes come back after no contact? ›

No contact can sometimes make an ex-girlfriend miss you or reconsider the breakup. However, it's not a guaranteed method, and the outcome depends on the individuals involved.

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